I know I’ve been a little absent. However, I had to go be the best friend I could possibly be to a dear friend of mine whose mother was battling illness and sadly passed away.
Nevertheless, we must persist. I’m so excited about what this year is going to bring. I can already feel that it will be transforming – not only for me, but everyone and everything attached to me.
I’m doing things a little different this year. I have FOUR GOAL POINTS. That’s it. Four. Not ten that I mismanage every year. FOUR. However, within that four are eight real, manageable goals that I believe I will attain this year. The point of it is to grow each goal slowly so that I’m not feeling overwhelmed and get burned out by February.
So let’s get into it.
Eliminate fear – For so long, I have lived in fear of what others will think of me. Probably because I was ashamed of my own mistakes and how I had let myself go – inside and out. Nothing I did was good enough because I had allowed life’s circumstances to make me feel that I wasn’t enough. How could I give ANYONE advice with my life in shambles? Who would listen to me? I’m not worthy to use my words to serve others in any way. I’m not worthy to stand before God’s people and lead praise and worship. I’m not worthy enough for a man to love me and want to be my husband. I talk too much. I sing too much. I’m too quirky. I talk too strongly. I feel too deeply. I’m not talented or skilled enough. Others are chosen before me. I don’t have what it takes.
Doubt became the byproduct of fear. So did depression and self-sabotage. And boy did I self-sabotage. Boy did I accept less than because I didn’t truly believe I deserved better. But as Israel Houghton sings, “There’s a lifting of the hands….there’s a lifting of the hearts…there’s a lifting of the eyes, beyond the hills… to where our help comes from. My help has come and is here. I’ve been lifted and am still being lifted. I’m lifted above all of those things. I’m so proud of the progress I made in this area in 2018. And though I’ve made progress, there’s plenty more to go. So I will practice eliminating fear and doubt in my life. I will speak up. Say things that I discern. Embrace life as God ordained Cortney to live it.
Eliminate debt – Ohhhhhhhhhh, this right here is my favorite – aye! Aye! Lol. I’m pretty sure this has been my goal since 2014, don’t judge me! Lol
The key to getting out of debt is to not get back in it!!!!! Hello, somebody! Learn your sabotaging habits and adjust as much as possible. My habit? Giving out what I don’t have for myself and spending emotionally or out of guilt. You can have a heart to give all day long, but if your wallet doesn’t match your heart, you have to accept it or you’ll always be broke.
Don’t get me wrong. I did make some progress on this in 2018. I actually had a baby emergency fund saved – which is something I couldn’t do in previous years without spending it months later. However, I saved the money, it came in handy for several car emergencies last year, and I was still able to build it back up each time. It’s a win for sure. This year, I’ll go into a ton more detail about my money journey so you can keep me accountable in my Money Matters series every other Monday. As usual, are you praying? lol
Build my representation (as an ambassador for Christ) – Ask yourself this year. Who do I represent? What vibe or energy am I giving off? Do I reflect who I say I follow? I say I’m a follower of Christ, therefore, I should be an ambassador for Him also (2 Corinthians 5:20 KJV), telling of His love and goodness. In everything I do this year, whether it be on this blog, in my home, in my mind and heart, at work, at church, in my finances, in my showing love to others – it should all be a representation of who God is. Everything I do will reflect Him.
Why this as a goal? Because in 2018 (and many years before), I’ve seen countless occasions where people claimed to represent Jesus and did Him a disservice. Instead of winning people over for Christ, they turned people away from Him. This world needs more Love more than anything else. This world needs more Hope than anything else. This world needs more Salvation and Strength than anything else. And in my few years on this earth, I have succeeded in finding all those things and more in knowing God. I will let my light so shine before men that they may see my good works and glorify my Father which is in heaven (Matthew 5:16 KJV). I will LEARN to be bold, courageous, and accepting of the call of God on my life. He deserves more people in this world who will testify of Him and all that He is by simply living a life that reflects who He is.
Grow slow – Literally when I typed that, there was a little bit of annoyance attached to it. I don’t want to “grow slow”. I want things done now. I want a wonderful blog now. I want to be out of debt now. I want more spiritual growth now. I want to be in my own home now. I want a baby now. (Nah, I’m just kidding lol….or am I?) But, NO! I need to grow slow. I need to grow slow because wanting all of these things NOW has caused stress, anxiety, guilt, comparison, anger, frustration, confusion, bitterness, enviousness, discontentment, laziness, and on and on. Lara Casey is the best friend in my head this year reminding me that peonies grow slow. And in the dirt. But their growth yields a beautiful flower for me to enjoy. I’m God’s flower right now, planted in this earth. The more I strive against the current and try to hurry the things of my life, the more I stunt my growth. I prevent myself from being beautiful and whole. A beautiful flower for Him to enjoy. So this year, I’m going to LEARN to grow slow. This will not and should not take away from me cultivating good goals. It just means I become more intentional with my time, my efforts, my energy. I don’t make a fuss when I make a mistake. I don’t fall out of love with myself. I don’t give up when things don’t go my way. I continue. Because in continuing to grow slow, eventually, I’ll peek up from the dirt. That wet, pressured, uncomfortable place – and I’ll have what I’ve been working for. I’ll have accomplished something and be more grateful for the journey.
All my Love,